“You knew.”
I wanted to believe him.
But I needed more than an apology before he walked out.
“You’re sleeping downstairs. And tomorrow, your mother is coming here.”
“She’ll deny it.”
“Then she can deny it to my face.”
I needed more
Diane arrived at ten. My sister had taken Lily for a walk.
I put the printed result on the table.
“Tell me what you told Ryan about me.”
Diane glanced between us.
“Hannah, I think there’s been some confusion.”
Diane arrived
“You said she told you I might not be Lily’s father,” Ryan said.
Diane sat slowly.
“I raised a concern.”
“You said she admitted it.”
“I never admitted anything,” I said. “Because there was nothing to admit.”
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Diane sat
“A mother has a responsibility to protect her son.”
“From his wife?”
“You were pushing everyone away. You didn’t want me visiting. He barely had time to breathe.”
“I asked you to call before coming over.”
“There was nothing to admit.”
“You knew I was worried about him,” I continued. “I asked you for help.”
Diane looked at Ryan.
“I’m talking to you,” I said.
“And suddenly everything had to happen on your terms.”
“So you told him I cheated?”
“I’m talking to you,”
“I told him to be careful.”
“Mom,” Ryan said, “that’s not what you told me.”
Diane turned to him.
“We should discuss this privately.”
“No,” I said. “You don’t get another conversation about me while I’m out of the room.”
“That’s not what you told me.”
She glanced at the papers beside the test result.
“Well, apparently she’s already decided to abandon you.”
Ryan flinched.
“Mom, please.”
I pushed my chair back.
Ryan flinched.
Even now, I thought. Even with everything on the table.
“Hannah, wait,” he said.
I stopped.
He stood and faced his mother.
“You need to go.”
“Hannah, wait,”
Diane gave a small, disbelieving laugh.
“Ryan.”
“You lied to me. Now you’re sitting here blaming her.”
“You think that test proves she was faithful?”
He went pale.
“You need to go.”
She’d given him another reason to doubt me, but I wasn’t going to argue for my innocence again.
I waited.
“No. I believe her.”
Diane stared at him.
“You don’t get to keep accusing her until you find something I’ll believe. Get your purse.”
“I believe her.”
“If I walk out that door—”
“You won’t come back while you’re treating my wife like this.”
She picked up her bag.
“After everything I’ve done for you.”
I stayed at the table until I heard her car pull away.
“If I walk out that door—”
Ryan came back and sat across from me.
“She didn’t take the samples,” he said. “She didn’t ignore you. I did.”
“Yes, and I don’t know if I can forgive you.”
“I understand.”
“I need you to find a counselor. And I need you downstairs for now.”
“I did.”
The next several weeks were uncomfortable.
When Diane called asking to collect a dish, he offered to bring it to her. When she complained that I was keeping him away, he ended the call.
In counseling, I told him I missed being touched and still flinched when he reached for me.
He ended the call.
He listened without asking me to decide which feeling was real.
Eventually, I told him I wanted to try to stay married.
“I can’t promise we’ll get back what we had.”
“I know.”
That evening, Lily refused to settle. I sat beside her crib, rubbing her back through the bars.
I wanted to try.
Ryan appeared in the doorway.
“Want me to take over?”
I looked at the space beside me, then moved my blanket so there was room.
“Come sit with us.”
And he did. It was a small thing, but it felt like repair.
Ryan appeared
