“I’m uncomfortable, Cass.”
For once, I didn’t think about what Jared wanted.
“I’m done covering for him.”
Jessica pushed the cookie tin toward me.
“Good. Start there.”
The following week, Jacob came shopping with me because he needed new shoes.
While Jacob tried on sneakers, I noticed a dark green dress.
“I’m done covering for him.”
“Try it on, Mom.”
I almost said no.
When I stepped out of the fitting room, Jacob looked up from his phone.
“Get it.”
“That convincing?”
“I’m serious. You look good.”
For once, I didn’t imagine Jared pointing out what was wrong.
I bought it.
“I’m serious. You look good.”
That evening, I hung it on our bedroom door.
Jared noticed immediately.
“You’re wearing that Sunday?”
“Yes.”
“Liam and Jessica are coming.”
“I know.”
His eyes moved over the dress.
I hung it on our bedroom door.
“Standing beside Jessica, you’re going to regret it.”
I reached for the hanger, then stopped.
“I’m wearing it.”
“You’ll be uncomfortable.”
“Then I’ll decide that for myself.”
He shrugged. “Your choice.”
“Standing beside Jessica, you’re going to regret it.”
“Exactly.”
Jared had treated my body like something he got to approve.
Before dinner Sunday, I moved his surgery brochures from our bedroom into the dining-room drawer.
I told myself I was only clearing space.
I knew better.
“Exactly.”
Sunday dinner started almost peacefully.
Liam arrived first with dessert. He was Jared’s older brother, calmer than Jared and usually the person who tried to move conversations away from arguments.
Jessica came in behind him wearing a red dress.
She saw mine and smiled.
“You look lovely, Cass.”
Sunday dinner started almost peacefully.
“Thank you.” I smiled.
We didn’t need to say more.
Dinner began with Levi telling Liam a long story about a dump truck. Jacob complained about homework. I almost relaxed.
Then Jared looked at Jessica.
“That red really works on you.”
We didn’t need to say more.
Jessica’s expression cooled.
“Thanks.”
He leaned back.
Then he looked at me.
“See, honey? If Jessica were my wife, I’d proudly take her anywhere.”
Nobody moved.
“I’d proudly take her anywhere.”
“With you, I’m embarrassed to even walk into a grocery store.”
My hands began shaking.
Months earlier, I would’ve excused myself and cried somewhere private.
Instead, I put down my fork.
“Are you finished?”
Jared laughed.
“Don’t turn this into some huge thing.”
“Are you finished?”
“No. You wanted everybody to hear you. Finish whatever you wanted to say.”
His smile slipped.
“I was making an observation.” Jared forced the words out.
Jessica dropped her napkin.
“Stop using me to hurt your wife.”
Jared stared at her.
“What?”
“I was making an observation.”
“You heard me.”
“This has nothing to do with you.”
“You made it about me.”
Jessica’s voice stayed controlled.
“You compare our bodies. You comment on what I wear. You tell Liam how lucky he is while Cassie is right there.”
“I’m complimenting you.”
“This has nothing to do with you.”
“I’m not flattered.”
Jared’s face reddened.
“I’m uncomfortable.”
He turned to Liam.
“Come on. You know what I’m saying. Cassie could try harder.”
Liam looked at him.
“She has been trying.”
“You don’t know what happens in our marriage.”
“She has been trying.”
“I know what happened at this table.”
Then Jacob’s chair scraped back.
“Dad, I want to make a toast.”
Jared’s face changed.
“Jacob, sit down. I’m not in the mood for your nonsense.”
“No,” I said.
Everyone looked at me.
“Dad, I want to make a toast.”
I looked at my son.
“Let him speak.”
Jacob swallowed.
“I have one sincere wish for you, Dad. So listen carefully.”
That’s when the color began leaving Jared’s face.
“I hope when I’m married, I never make my wife feel the way you make Mom feel.”
“I have one sincere wish for you, Dad.”
Silence.
“I hope I never act like somebody’s body decides whether they’re worth being seen with.”
“Jacob.”
“And I hope if I have kids, they don’t have to pretend they can’t hear it.”
He glanced at Levi.
“Because he hears you too.”
Jared went pale.
“Because he hears you too.”
Jacob lowered the glass.
“That’s my wish.”
I looked at my son and understood.
Jacob wasn’t trying to save me.
